Like many of you, I am completing my ninth week of working from home. The days go by slowly and quickly all at the same time. In all my years of marriage, which I assure you are many, my husband and I have never been home this much together. Nor have we had dinner together night after night after night.
When first married, my husband and I were both in school, working full-time at part-time jobs to pay the rent and put food on the table. So we had a rule, whoever arrived home first, cleaned the apartment so we would never fall behind and be overwhelmed. It might be that the laundry had to be done, or the toilets had to be cleaned, but the job was underway or completed when the other walked in the door. We lived in a very egalitarian household, and amazingly, it has never changed. My husband manages household repairs, I pay the bills, he is in charge of travel and keeping track of points, I keep the social calendar, I cook dinner and he cleans the kitchen. We are partners and a team.
Once our children were born, My husband, otherwise known as Mr Mom, was in charge of breakfast and getting the boys to school. I went off to work early, and had night duty. Our children learned that we were partners, and don’t ever try to divide and conquer as it would not work, but more likely would backfire!
So, as you can imagine, I read with interest, an article in the New York Times about an ex-husband who realized too late the error of his ways, i.e. leaving a trail behind him of dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, etc. He realized too late to save his marriage that his wife had been looking for a partner, and not to be a mother to him, but only to their children.
Many couples have found it a challenge to co-exist in this age of COVID-19. I have worked during my legal career to be a problem solver and help my clients navigate through their divorces. Today, I am asking that you read the attached article, take a look at your relationship, and see if there is a way you can improve the rocky part of your marriage by being sensitive to what you may be doing that is making your spouse feel like you may not be on his or her team, and not properly partnering. Perhaps a marriage counselor can help you navigate through what has probably been a rocky time. Feel free to call me for a recommendation at 410-659-1389. If counseling is not successful, I will still be there.
Read the full New York Times article here.
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